I am not invisible but my illness is (May 2024)

My illness is not visible and not obvious to others, appearing to be healthy. I often wonder how others see me. Discovering a strength that I never thought I had, focusing on my creative side, by using my photography to create images where I am not totally there. When you look at me you don’t see the whole of me, my illness and how it makes me feel, is missing from your view. My intention is to share this, to make more people aware of ‘Invisible’ illnesses, I’m sure I’m not the only person experiencing this.

With the RPS Benelux Chapter and Viewfinders Photo Club of Brussels.

Living with more than one illness can be life changing and you need to learn to accept the limitations that it brings. As I continue to look healthy means that it is not obvious to others that am I sick. They only see what lies on the surface, an important part of me remains hidden. I have discovered a strength that I never thought I had, instead of focusing on my illnesses, I have switched my attention to my creative side. Using my photography to create images where I am not totally there, the part of me represents my illnesses are missing from the view.

I am not invisible, but my illness is. My goal is to illustrate, by means of a series of self-portraits, the invisibility of my illness in contrast to my stark consciousness of it. I suffer from a chronic illness; Small Fibre Neuropathy (SFN), although I appear healthy it is an invisible illness which has accompanying mental health issues and intrusive tinnitus. SFN can be difficult to live with, the small nerves falsely report pain when there is none. Pushing the limits of my comfort zone by making a series of self-portraits, where my partial visibility reflects how my illness makes me feel. I have focused on the way I place myself in the frame. The transparency of my body expresses the tension between where I am and what my energy level allows me to do. This creative process has been a kind of self-help therapy that has boosted my mental health and allowed me to discover an inner strength. My intention with this panel is help others who may be suffering with this also.

Shallow depth of field is one of many effects that a photographer can use, but for me it is the way I experience the world. My vision is permanently blurred due retinas scars caused by Presumed Ocular Histoplasmosis Syndrome. In this series the viewer is given a glimpse into my restricted world with damaged retinas, each image is a split between normal vision and mine, which is missing the depth that makes everyone else’s world complete and safe. This is my view of Amsterdam

Visit to Maastricht on the 14th to 16th October 2022, in combination with RPS Benelux and the VIEWFinders club of Brussels.

My visit to Brussels on the 13 to 15 March 2024

I am not invisible, but my illness is. My goal is to demonstrate, by means of a series of self-portraits, the invisibility of my illness in contrast to my stark consciousness of it. I suffer from a chronic illness, Small Fibre Neuropathy. Although I appear healthy, my invisible illness has accompanying mental health issues, periods of neuropathic pain and can be difficult to live with. I have pushed the limits of my comfort zone by making a series of self-portraits, where my partial visibility reflects how my illness makes me feel. The transparency of my body expresses the tension between where I am and what my energy level allows me to do. Experiencing unpredictable good and bad days that are never quite the same. Exploring my creativity through photography has been a kind of self-help therapy that has boosted my mental health and allowed me to discover an inner strength in dealing with my illness in my daily life as I ponder what the future may bring. My intention is to eventually share my panel with fellow strugglers of invisible illnesses.